


A Very Logical First Date

by writteninweakness



Series: The Logical Choice AU [4]
Category: Amnesia (Game & Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, F/M, First Dates, Friendship, Past Relationship(s), Post-Canon, references to canon character death in a normal end, set in the logical choice au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-09-01 02:34:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20250748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writteninweakness/pseuds/writteninweakness
Summary: Kokoa has a request for Kent: a formal/official date. Kent makes a plan with some help, and it proves to be the right choice.





	A Very Logical First Date

**Author's Note:**

> A while back (a long while, this is way overdue) I was asked about some of the in-between parts in regards to Kent/Kokoa in the Logical Choice. I said that the parts I skipped could be a novel of themselves, I think, and it's true, and in regards to some of them, I'd need to build up to them and see the relationship progress before writing them.
> 
> I... haven't been up to fluff, so I kept putting this off, but my brain was desperate for a one-shot, so I finally managed to buckle down and write it. It did not go quite to plan, but I should have expected that.

* * *

“All right. It looks like we finished about twenty minutes ahead of schedule, and while ordinarily I would find something to fill the time, since we always have more we can discuss, today I’m letting you go early,” Kokoa told her class, gathering up her own things as she spoke. If she hurried, she’d get to Kent’s office before he left, and she was already sure it would take an ambush to get what she wanted since so far he’d proved very good at avoiding the subject.

She hadn’t thought Kent would do that, most of the time he was very direct, but any subtle attempts she made at broaching the subject were definitely being missed, and the more it happened, the more she thought it was deliberate.

“Ooh, looks like the professor has a date.”

Kokoa laughed, though her cheeks were a bit pink. She knew it wasn’t any kind of secret to her students that she and Kent were involved, even if they had yet to have an official date. Kent walked her to her class every day—not just because of her injuries, they were mostly healed—and they had lunch together and he took her home, too. They were living together, too, though that she did not believe her students knew. She’d disclosed both of those things to the school, though, since she didn’t want to cause problems and wasn’t about to risk their jobs when so much depended on Kent’s.

“Say hello to Professor Mizutani for us,” Suki said as she reached the door. “We are looking forward to his guest lecture on statistics.”

That was awful bold of her, Kokoa couldn’t help thinking. “Yes, I will, though you’ll have to remind Orion that if he’s home as late tonight as he was last night, the door will be locked so he better have his key.”

Suki flushed in turn, rushing away with her friends, most of whom were teasing her. Kokoa knew that was hardly fair, and she would have to apologize next time she saw Suki. She was a bit nervous, but that was no excuse for her behavior.

She walked across campus, making her way to Kent’s office. She’d wanted to try and have this conversation here despite the unprofessional nature of it, since Kent had far too many ways to dodge this kind of a talk at the house. His parents, Orion, leaving on something in the kitchen… She swore he’d used almost every excuse in the book by now.

She pushed the door to his office open, finding him just where she knew he’d be, since this was his time for grading papers. He didn’t seem to have heard her, either, so focused as he was on his task, so she walked up to his desk and stopped, taking a deep breath.

“You’re early.”

She almost jumped, but then she should have known that Kent _had _heard her, since he always seemed to hear Ikki when they played that game. “Um… yes.”

“Are you feeling unwell? If you need me to drive you home, I can. There is enough time between now and my next class as it is almost—”

“I’m fine.”

“Oh. Good.”

“I do want a date, though.”

Kent’s pen put a small hole in the paper he was grading. He looked down at it with a frown and then back at her. “A date?”

“Yes, a date. We’re living in the same house, we share a room, and we even share a bed—don’t get upset now, I like all of that. I like that we come to work together and go home together. We eat lunch together either here on campus or at a restaurant. We cook together as much as you’ll let me because of my injuries, though they’re pretty much healed now, so… I want a date. A real one. A planned one, where we go out together and… um… do things...”

“Do things?”

She grimaced. “Well, it was a pretty good speech until the end, right?”

He laughed, nodding and reaching for her hand. As he took it, he swallowed. “You… are aware that I am not particularly good at… dating. I… I have been told that I ‘suck’ at it and that I’m a lousy or annoying date.”

She shook her head. “Those women didn’t know you or understand you, but I do. I don’t… I like spending time with you. I love it, actually. So… please. A date?”

He nodded. “Very well. We can do… that. Not tonight, though.”

“No, of course not. I’m not trying to rush things. I just want to go on one sometime. I… I think it’s an important part of our relationship.”

“Agreed, it typically is, at least as far as my research shows.”

She tried not to laugh because she knew it would upset him, though she found that adorable. She loved that he’d researched relationships—it was so him, just that way he approached life, and she sometimes wondered just how far that research went.

She tried not to let her thoughts wander too far. She was kind of looking forward to finding out just what it would be like to do more than hold hands and exchange kisses that weren’t on the cheek or the forehead. Kent favored those, though more often she was sneaking a slight kiss to his cheek since he didn’t seem willing to do more, even though he had already admitted his feelings for her.

She knew Kent was still holding back, not just because he was a gentleman, but because he wasn’t sure of her feelings. She herself was confused, since she was still trying to work through her feelings that had surfaced with her recovered memories. She was grieving now, at last, for Ukyo, and that was still difficult. She still felt guilty and unworthy, but she was trying to set things right.

She wanted love, wanted to be loved and give love, and Kent, wonderful man, had already given her his love. She wanted to give him just as much in return, though as she would always care for Ukyo, they would probably never be even. That Kent accepted it and still was willing to try…

“You seem upset. I… Did you not want me to agree?” Kent asked, concern all over his face. “Or… was it what I said about research? I know that is not romantic, and I admit I do not understand emotions or how to—”

“It’s me. It’s me thinking I… that I don’t deserve it and shouldn’t be causing you any pain or doubts,” she said, and he rose, touching her face as she tried not to cry. “I… I know it’s not fair to you. I told you before I didn’t think I could love, and so of course you have every reason to think that I… don’t or I won’t… but I _want _to, and I… I like what we have, I do, and I want more. I… There is a part of me that says it’s too soon, since… since I am still in mourning, but… there’s another part of me that says I’ve been mourning for years already. I know Ukyo didn’t want me to be unhappy. I… I want to make _you _happy, too.”

Kent smiled at her, though she knew it wasn’t really a happy smile. “You do, and I know I am fortunate that you wish to attempt this relationship between us. I don’t think you are at all unworthy of the affection you’ve been given. You deserve all you have and much more. More than a man like me who doesn’t understand emotions and can’t articulate them most of the time. I feel that if either of us should feel guilty—”

“No. That car… that wasn’t you. I panicked, and it wasn’t your fault. I… I was afraid. Afraid of how all my other relationships ended, afraid of what I might feel, and afraid… of so many things I didn’t remember. I’m still working past that, and I want to do that with you.” She wrapped her arms around him. “So… a date. I… I still want that.”

“Very well, though I must admit I was actually planning on meeting Ikkyu for drinks tonight.”

“Kent, I told you—it doesn’t have to be tonight. I don’t mean to rush you, and I can make the plans if you’d rather I did, but… I just needed you to know that I wanted to do this. That’s all. It was a statement of intent.”

He laughed, and she loved the way it felt when he did and she was holding onto him. She held on, perfectly content to spend her entire lunch break like this if he’d let her.

* * *

“So...” Ikkyu sat down in the booth across from Kent, turning his glass around in circles by the stem, “what was the emergency that had you asking me to move up the drinking night to tonight instead of the weekend like we’d planned? I mean, not that I mind—half the kids are going to their grandparents and the others have slumber parties over at friends’ houses, so I can spend the weekend pampering and seducing my wife instead, but… you have me a bit concerned all the same.”

Kent shook his head. “It’s not an emergency. My parents are fine. Having the oxygen tank has greatly improved my father’s condition over the past few months, as you well know. Mother seems to have benefited as well, though Toma seems a bit dismayed with how well she is. He keeps texting me begging for mercy.”

Ikkyu laughed. “Anyone tell him he’s got the wrong person? I mean, you’re not heartless, but it’s not like you and Toma are friends. I think we all kind of enjoy watching Ayeka run circles around him. Shin more than anyone.”

Kent nodded, though he had to admit that having Shin back in his life was strange as well. That was because of Kokoa, though. Between her ex-husband’s case and her friendship with him going back as far as it did, Shin was now somehow an extension of the family, not quite as close as Orion, but Shin also seemed to fill a brotherly role.

“Okay, so your parents are fine. I have my doubts this is about your other housemate—”

“Orion seems well. My parents enjoy having him in the house. I believe it makes my mother worry less, and this may also fill an unexpressed and unfulfilled desire for more children. He is still strange, but given his origin, I suppose that is to be expected. He does complain that I never give him any easy assignments even though we live in the same house, but after I explained my views on favoritism—”

“Ooh, I bet he regretted that one,” Ikkyu said, shaking his head and laughing as he reached for his glass. He sipped from it and set it down. “This is about Kokoa.”

“Yes.”

Ikkyu nodded. “I figured as much. There is… a lot of baggage there, and you don’t exactly know how to use the claim.”

“That… is a completely erroneous metaphor. I know very well how to navigate an airport. I am one of few of us that has actually left Japan. And as for the emotional baggage to which I assume you are referring… I am aware she has many issues she’s working through, and she seems determined to keep doing so. It is not my place to determine her feelings, though I… am more certain of my own now than I was before. It is… Damn it.”

“See?”

“Your metaphor _is _incorrect. I just… I do not want to discuss it, even if I… I thought at first it would help, but it won’t because I’m talking to you, so… I will just finish this drink and go home.”

“Ken, don’t be like that. Okay, I know I laugh sometimes when you’re being a bit… dense about emotions or when you’re being overly logical about something, but I can help. I want to. That is what a best friend does. Tell me what’s going on. I can promise not to laugh if I need to.”

Kent sighed. “Now that I am about to speak of it, it seems stupid. Foolish. Any of the many synonyms for that word. Take your pick.”

“It’s only stupid if I say it is, but I can’t make a decision about it if you don’t tell me.”

“Kokoa wants to go on a date.”

Ikkyu frowned. “Aren’t you already dating? You are, aren’t you? Why is this different?”

“It’s not a formal, arranged date. We spend most of our time together, yes, very nearly all of the time that neither of us is teaching, since we live and eat together, but she wants something… more. A typical social engagement. I assume I’d be picking her up at her home and she may even wish to dress up some for the occasion. I just… You know how dates usually end for me, and that assumes it gets past the stage of me telling the woman where I thought we might go.”

Ikkyu did laugh then. “That is because far too many of your dates weren’t interested in actually dating a mathematician. Their loss, but Kokoa’s gain because you are a loyal friend and I know you’ll be better to her than you are to me.”

“Then she will not like anywhere I’d think of, either.”

“No, she likely would, since Kokoa seems content to be wherever you are. You are her sense of safety right now, so anything you take her to do would be fine. Don’t obsess over it. Just keep it simple. The basics are fine. You could probably do dinner and a movie easy.”

Kent frowned. “That hardly seems sufficient, and furthermore—”

“Wait, no, it’s you, and I know what you’re like when you watch a movie. You drive my poor children crazy by pointing out all the inaccuracies in their favorite films. No, that’s a bad idea. Dinner isn’t, though you do complain about other cooks when the meal isn’t to your standards. Hmm. Okay, pick somewhere that you know you’re good with the quality of the food and take her to a museum.”

Kent wasn’t quite satisfied with that. “Admittedly, I have no true arguments against the first part of your suggestion, since it would be unfortunate if the food quality is poor, and it seems reasonable to believe that she would get some enjoyment out of anything at a restaurant of my choosing as I am particular but she likes my way of preparing meals. Still… a museum? I know I would not mind, that is what I do often enough, but Kokoa? She might not like that.”

Ikkyu nodded. “That’s possible, and it’s also true you should be thinking of things that she’d have fun doing, but honestly… You _are _a museum guy. You’re a learning is fun type, so if she can’t appreciate that, then… it doesn’t really matter how you feel about her. This won’t work.”

Kent had an urge to finish his entire drink right now. “You do not think this relationship can succeed, do you?”

Ikkyu winced. “Damn, Ken, that’s not what I meant. I admit I had my doubts when I first realized you liked her—back at Meido No Hitsuji, she didn’t see you like that. Now that we know about Ukyo, we know that it wouldn’t have worked out back then, but it’s different. She’s older. You’re older. She’s gone through a lot of bad relationships, but she knows why she was sabotaging herself before, so it’s not going to sneak up on you like it did Shin or Toma. You already know her issues and accept her past. She’s aware of your faults, too. That part… you have a really strong foundation. Much stronger than mine was with Sawa at the start. You remember our first date, don’t you?”

“Yes. It was a disaster, and I still don’t know why she married you.”

“Thanks a lot.”

Kent shrugged. “If you wanted me to pretend otherwise, you would never have brought up the subject. Your relationship is proof of the ability of certain individuals to overcome the odds. You always seemed to me someone who would. She… did not.”

“Keep insulting my wife, and I will have to hurt you.”

Kent shook his head. “Sawa not only refused to see her own potential, she did not believe she could work for more. She’d settled on being middling at best. You changed that in her. She may never understand math the way you do, but she no longer accepts her level of inadequacy and actively works to improve matters in spite of you and her children.”

“You’re not helping your case much.”

“Arguably, you are her fifth child already, and her sixth has not been born. That is a lot of pressure on anyone, you know.”

“You still don’t hold back a bit. Bastard.” Ikkyu waited a moment and then began laughing, shaking his head as he reached for his drink. “You are still the best friend ever, though, so I guess I forgive you.”

“Very well.”

“I’m not wrong about the museum, though. It’ll be a good test of where things are. If you really think that she’s just doing this out of gratitude and guilt—which I know you’re worried she is, we’ve already had that conversation—then this date is for both of you—a test to see if you can do the couple thing outside of that small world you’ve got in your house and away from your parents and expectations. Just go and see what happens. She may not like it, but you both should know that now, not later.”

Kent nodded. That seemed reasonable. Surprising from Ikkyu, but then… he wasn’t only asking Ikkyu because the man was his only friend.

“Now that we’ve settled that, I believe you owe me a puzzle and it’s time to see if I can finish it before you drink your next glass.”

“You won’t, and I see through your attempt to get me intoxicated.”

Ikkyu laughed, holding out his hand to Kent, and he finally passed over the puzzle. He neglected to mention it was one he made for Ikkyu’s daughter, though.

* * *

“You have the number to call me if anything happens.”

“Yes,” Orion said, sounding a bit annoyed at Kent’s words, but while Kokoa found it a bit adorable that Kent was fussing so much over making sure his parents would be fine while they were gone, she knew Orion was frustrated. He was actually a really responsible young man now, and she was grateful he wanted to be a part of their lives and they could count on him to take such good care of Daichi and Ayeka for them. She’d have been worried, too, otherwise.

As it was, she was so excited, she could barely contain herself. She did, just as soon as that pang of guilt hit, but she kept trying to force that down. She was looking forward to what Kent had planned. She hadn’t expected him to come up with something so quickly, but his look when he came to her classroom and explained he’d like to take her out for the evening and everything was already arranged with Orion and his parents was so endearing. He’d been a bit red, and she knew she’d smiled like an idiot for most of the day.

She stopped when the guilt came back, but she knew that she was doing her best. She taught, and that was one step towards making up for everything. She was mending fences with Shin and Toma, too, though that was still awkward in some ways. She liked Shin’s new girlfriend—Shin did not like that they’d met, but Kokoa was glad, since she was such a nice person. It was harder with Toma, she thought, but that court mandated therapy he’d done did seem to have helped him, and she thought it was good he worked with Ayeka, because she certainly kept him in line as much as anyone could.

So things were better. Kokoa was making right what she could, even if most of those were small things. She knew that she couldn’t save or change the world, but she could do these small things, and she was.

“Don’t you have a reservation?” Orion prodded. “Won’t you be late?”

Kent shook his head. “The museum closes first, so I thought it best to do our tour before the meal. We have plenty of time before that reservation.”

Orion grimaced. “That’s… great.”

Kokoa decided to take pity on him and took the final steps into the room. “Kent? I’m sorry I took so long to change. I wasn’t sure what to wear. This isn’t too much, is it?”

Kent swallowed, and Orion grinned. He came over to her and hugged her. “You look amazing. You’ve always been pretty, but that dress looks good on you, too. Right, Kent?”

He coughed and looked away, muttering something she couldn’t hear. “Kent?”

Kent took off his glasses and started cleaning them. “It looks very nice. I don’t think anyone at the museum will look at the exhibits with you there. Why would they?”

She flushed. “Oh. I… Should I change?”

“Don’t you dare,” Orion said. “Kent just did the impossible and paid you a compliment. That’s big. So you go and you go in that dress, and you outshine everything at that museum.”

She laughed, ruffling Orion’s hair. Kent managed a small smile but did not put his glasses back on. She almost asked him if the dress was bad, but from Orion’s reaction, that wasn’t it at all. Kent didn’t want to see it for some reason, though. He… liked it that much he was afraid of staring? She felt another thrill go through her. Entangling herself from Orion, she crossed over to take Kent’s hand.

“I’m ready, so we can go whenever you like.”

He nodded, swallowing again as he slowly put his glasses back on. “I… You do look very good in the dress, Kokoa.”

“Thank you. I like… everything you’re wearing, too. I should have said so sooner. You look… well, I like the professor look you have these days, but now you look…” Kokoa struggled to find the right words. Kent frowned, but she forced them out despite her embarrassment. “Intellectually sexy. I mean, you always do, but this is… it’s a bit different.”

Kent blinked. “What?”

“You two are terrible,” Orion said, shoving them toward the door. “Please tell me you’ll get over this soon enough and it’s just because you are only on your first official date because… I don’t think I could take it if you did that for your whole relationship.”

“That is unlikely. I am simply not practiced in giving or receiving such comments. That… will change. At least… if we continue dating, it seems unlikely I won’t be saying such things often, so… it should improve.”

“Yes, both ways,” Kokoa said, giving his hand a squeeze and determining then and there that she would let him know just how attractive he was, even if it was a bit hard for her to say at times because of her upbringing. She wasn’t a child anymore, not a blushing virgin, she was divorced woman who’d been through a lot, and she’d already said she wanted to do better. That meant letting her boyfriend—somehow that word felt wrong for Kent—know that he was insanely attractive and never letting him doubt that she felt that way about him.

She stepped up to kiss Kent’s cheek, and a camera flashed, and she knew it was time to get out of this house.

* * *

“This is a special limited exhibit,” Kent said, “and while I don’t always go see them, I thought this one was… possibly of some interest to you. I would have liked to have more time to plan, but I admit that I did not. This is the last day of the exhibit, I’m afraid, so hopefully we have enough time to see everything you wish to see.”

Kokoa frowned a little at him, and he tried not to grimace. This was possibly a mistake, despite Ikkyu’s arguments for it, though he also hadn’t known about the special exhibit. Perhaps it was rather a poor choice, but he felt that he should do it anyway.

“Come,” Kent said, holding out a hand to her. That between them was not difficult, as it felt comfortable and natural and something they could do always, though it wouldn’t always be proper if they were no longer dating. Still, she took it without reserve, smiling up at him as she did.

He gave the tickets to the man at the gate and walked in to the main exhibition hall, hearing her gasp as they entered.

“Kokoa?”

She turned to him, her eyes already shining as she faced him. “I… The history of photography?”

He nodded. “I know it was not your interest so much as Ukyo’s, and it’s not mine as much as I find the advancements in technology fascinating. Still, I thought it might be something you would like all the same.”

She nodded, tightening her hold on his hand as they moved toward the first sign, one introducing them to the concept of heliography. Her eyes remained wide, and she leaned against him as he added to the explanation on the board, since it barely touched on the subject before moving onto daguerreotypes and confusing the issue with talk of Bayard as well.

Kent, of course, was more familiar with the concepts behind the technology, and he feared he likely spent too much time talking about trichromatic theory and the Young-Helmholtz-Maxwell theory of color vision.

He tried to watch her face and gauge her level of interest, not wanting to bore her with too much talk from him, but she smiled and gave his hand a squeeze any time he paused, seemingly urging him on. He didn’t know if that was truly what she wanted, but he did continue, adding what he could to the exhibit as they made very slow progress through the hall. She looked at everything with fascination, almost like a child, and he knew she had little experience with any of this. This had been someone else’s passion, and her interest was in that man, not his profession.

“I think art is beautiful,” she admitted, “but I’ve always known I wasn’t an artist and never would be. I just don’t have that kind of leaning. You know what I mean? I love looking at pretty pictures—paintings or photos—but setting up what looks good in one? I don’t think I could that. And drawing...”

“I remember your class’ reaction to that slide you made.”

She flushed. “That’s… I… yes. It was bad. And I knew it, but I couldn’t find any better images when I did a search.”

“Perhaps you were looking at the wrong keywords.”

“I might have been,” she said, looking back at the photograph on display, an enlargement of one of the first color images. “This is… something else. All of it is so fascinating. I didn’t even think I cared about the history, but… I could listen to you explain it for hours.”

“And likely fall asleep.”

“I only did that a couple times, and that was different,” she insisted. “At least one was my medication and others were… you offered to read to me until I fell asleep. Your voice is very nice, pleasant and easy to listen to, and even when I have no idea what you’re talking about, I enjoy hearing it. I like the way you speak. It’s very soothing. You are safety and home. I still feel that.”

He smiled at her, touching her cheek. “I don’t ever want you to feel unsafe again. I know your ex-husband is not likely to be free any time soon between Shin, Toma, and my mother, but… you should know you always have a place with us. Well, me, even if...”

He couldn’t finish his sentence. His parents’ health was improved, but it was a delaying tactic, not a cure, and he knew it. They all did.

“I really do want to stay with you forever,” she said, leaning against him. “Okay, tell me about digital photography. What’s the difference between it and film, besides the obvious, of course?”

He couldn’t help a small smile as he began to explain.

* * *

“Thank you so much for this, Kent,” Kokoa said after the museum almost kicked them out. They’d spent so much time looking at the exhibit that was all they saw, none of the rest of it, and it got to be closing time before she knew it, but she’d been fascinated by all of it, especially with Kent’s added explanations to make things more interesting. “This was… It was such a thoughtful choice, and I learned so much. I never knew just how much went into photography.”

He smiled at her, and she hugged him, wanting to hold onto him. He might not understand emotions or be that good at expressing them, but he was still a very considerate man. He could think of so many variables and angles and even touching ideas like this.

“I am glad we did this. Please don’t think I’m not,” she whispered as her tears started. She had been sad off and on as they went through the exhibit, since this did remind her so much of Ukyo and all he’d loved and lost. “I am a little… I feel… Ukyo would have liked this. He… No one can even see his photographs now. He’s been… forgotten...”

“No. That is inaccurate. You remember him. Orion remembers him. And everyone who worked at Meido No Hitsuji back then remembers him as well, though perhaps not as much as we should. Somewhere Nhil has all of his memories, though it is likely none of us will ever meet him given some strong feelings on this matter.” Kent was right about that—she didn’t think Orion would ever tell any of the others where Nhil lived for Nhil’s safety. “Waka may even have some of those photos. We can ask him, maybe even get them printed to show somewhere or something.”

“Really? I… I don’t know that I would want to ask Waka, even if he did seem to like me.”

“I’ll ask.”

She was a bit excited by that. “Oh, that would be wonderful. And maybe I’ll get brave and do it myself, but… Thank you. I wouldn’t have… thank you for being willing to do that for me.”

“It’s not just for you,” Kent said to her shock. He smiled gently at her. “Personally, I would like to see the one he took of you.”

“You would?”

“I may not think much of the man who took them, but his subject is very dear to me.”

“Oh.”

Kent chuckled. “Why does that surprise you? My feelings for you are no secret.”

She grimaced, wiping at her eye. She knew that, and it wasn’t even that, was it? She was at war within herself, feeling so guilty over Ukyo and Kent at the same time. She didn’t want Ukyo to be forgotten, but she didn’t want to hurt Kent, either. Was it so terrible to move forward?

“I know you love me. I… It was only a surprise once, and I… I know I ran, but it wasn’t that. Not this time. I’m not afraid to love you. I want to. I… It’s stupid, isn’t it? To feel guilty over hesitating to say it back to you?”

Kent did look pained. “Kokoa...”

“It’s not… I know what I felt for Ukyo, and this is different… Not because I think it’s not love. Loving you would never be the same as loving him. You are two very different people. This… it doesn’t feel like when I tried to make friendship something it wasn’t. It’s not a stretch or a vague hope and prayer that maybe being friends was something else. It’s… I… I am attracted to you. That much is very clear. You make my stomach flip-flop with that smile of yours. My heart warms when you talk about science or math, even if I don’t understand it. I was excited about this date and thrilled by your reaction to my dress and I have wanted to kiss you so many times tonight alone… I just hate how I feel like I can’t tell you this is love and how very aware I am that you deserve better...”

“Perhaps,” he said, though his voice expressed doubt as he touched her cheek. “However, as illogical as it may be, my… heart has chosen you. This… I may never be the great love of your life, but you are that of mine, and it makes me happy just to be with you. It… I thought I needed distance, that I had to get over you, but I now believe no amount of distance would ever be enough. These feelings will not pass. Perhaps I would learn to ignore them if I had to, but I would rather be here. You believe it is unfair, and I agree it is inequitable. I do not deny that or attempt to fool myself, but in all my analysis of our situation… I remain convinced that we have enough compatibility to make a foundation, one that should allow us to build something very strong that can last for the rest of our lives.”

“You’re going to make me cry again.”

“That should not be an unhappy statement.”

“No one said they were sad tears, you silly, wonderful man,” she said, admiring his commitment even as she hoped it wouldn’t cause him more pain. She didn’t want to do that to anyone. Still, she couldn’t walk away from Kent, couldn’t leave him to spare him because… she felt like she was closer than she’d ever been before—aside from when she was with Ukyo—and she wanted this desperately.

“I see. That is… confusing, but as long as you are happy...”

“That’s it,” she said, and he frowned at her again, but she was smiling like a fool. “Kiss me. Not on the cheek or the forehead. Please, just kiss me.”

He did, slightly hesitant at first, but then he grew more assertive to answer her demands, since all she wanted was more. She closed her eyes, enjoying every new sensation, wanting to feel them all again.

_Yes, _she thought, _I could love this man. Maybe I already do._


End file.
